The Fig Tree Analogy

Alright, I’m going to level with you here. I’ve never read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. While I was about to reference this quote, I found that both the book and Sylvia Plath herself had faced some controversies. To be honest, I’m not here to debate her morals or how they may have impacted her readers or society as a whole. What I would like to discuss, is this quote from The Bell Jar:

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“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet, and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

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This passage really stuck with me during a time when I felt overwhelmed by possibilities. I’m an overthinker, and sometimes when I get too stimulated, a nothinker. Seeing life expressed through such a beautiful analogy really impressed me. At the time I read this quote, I was debating a move to the East Coast. I was born and raised in California and had never imagined living anywhere else permanently. This passage helped me evaluate my options, each fig representing a different possible path. I was feeling so unhappy with the routine my life had become. In essence, I was sitting at the base of my own fig tree as my life withered away (a bit dramatic, but also not…).

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The story helped me realize that, for any of these realities to become my own, I had to embrace one fully. Embracing it meant taking responsibility over the actions that would ultimately change my life. What habits do I have in this fig? How am I spending my weekends? Where do I go on vacation in this life, and why am I going there?

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I imagined myself in a community of yogis, finally able to do the splits and a handstand. I was incredibly healthy, and I was getting excited about decorating my house with thrift finds from the habitat for humanity. I was visiting my friends on different continents, and making time for my family every year. This version of myself was delicious, like one of those flavors you keep going back for, like mom’s homemade rice crispy treats saved for the class potluck—you know you shouldn’t eat them all at once, but that only makes you crave them more.

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Once I’d “tasted” the life I wanted, the decision became easier. There were still emotional and financial stressors, but my choices were no longer paralyzed by indecision. I started making choices that aligned with the life I wanted.

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I know a lot of us get stuck in a rut. Some of us have been conditioned—either by necessity or societal pressures—to accept dissatisfaction in our lives. There are so many things in life we can’t control, but my question to you is this: what kind of life would you be living if you took full control of the controllables?

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This reflection helped me realign with my values and recognize areas where I was neglecting my needs and desires. I hope it encourages you to do the same.

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Warmly,

Seanie B